So, here's the low-down: I haven't been a saint. I had a brief relapse about a month ago, which resulted in a day-long hangover which I don't wish to ever re-live again. No major damage done, but a stumbling stone along the way. A few days ago, I had a mid-day martini at The King Cole Bar, and was purely satisfied with it. It made me feel happy, and I was fine for the rest of the day. What does it all mean? I don't know. I do know that I still can't drink to excess without bad things happening. I do know that I'm much more aware of having to remain vigilant, and knowing when to stop -- after just one or two. I know that I can only do it, MAYBE, once a week or every other week; any more than that, and old habits die hard. I do know that I like the side benefits of not drinking; in fact, at The King Cole Bar, the baretender looked at me quizically when I came in, and said, "What have you been doing to yourself? You look great. You look like you took off ten years."
At 32, I'm not sure if that's necessarily a good thing, but I'll take the compliment. And refuse the second drink. Better still, not even begin with the first one. Except once in a while.
Conflicted? You betcha.
