So, here's the low-down: I haven't been a saint. I had a brief relapse about a month ago, which resulted in a day-long hangover which I don't wish to ever re-live again. No major damage done, but a stumbling stone along the way. A few days ago, I had a mid-day martini at The King Cole Bar, and was purely satisfied with it. It made me feel happy, and I was fine for the rest of the day. What does it all mean? I don't know. I do know that I still can't drink to excess without bad things happening. I do know that I'm much more aware of having to remain vigilant, and knowing when to stop -- after just one or two. I know that I can only do it, MAYBE, once a week or every other week; any more than that, and old habits die hard. I do know that I like the side benefits of not drinking; in fact, at The King Cole Bar, the baretender looked at me quizically when I came in, and said, "What have you been doing to yourself? You look great. You look like you took off ten years."
At 32, I'm not sure if that's necessarily a good thing, but I'll take the compliment. And refuse the second drink. Better still, not even begin with the first one. Except once in a while.
Conflicted? You betcha.
4 comments:
Sounds like you're handling sobriety just fine. It's a choice, not a sentence.
Wow..pretty soon they'll be carding you.
I stepped back form the brink about eight years ago and have been able to drink in moderation occasionally and cut myself off happily after one or two much to the amazement of my friends in AA.
For me it was more of an issue of not wanting to be out of control and respect for my body. Working out has a lot to do with it. You can't drink on the same day you've lifted weights or it prevents recovery and muscle growth. As I work out most every day now, it greatly limits my chances to imbibe.
Oh hell! I guess vanity had a lot more to do with it! Enjoy the compliments as they come in. You'd be amazed what NOT drinking will do for your skin tone and waist line!
Sounds like you have a handle on things. Congrats!
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